TEACHING AND LEARNING NEEDLE ARTS 

I do a lot of teaching of a lot of needle arts. The following thoughts have been bubbling around in my mind for some time. Here's a little essay on teaching and learning the domestic arts:

If you took home economics during the 1940s-1970s, you may have shared my experience. My home ec teacher was Mrs M. [M is for Meanie and not her real name, nor is she still living. I would not embarrass her, though she felt no such reluctance]. Her standards were exacting. She seemed to feel that she had been given divine information about the correct way to insert a pin into fabric and many other matters. Anything other than perfection invited her scorn. Scorn and public humiliation were her primary teaching tools. And lest you think I was suffering from adolescent exaggeration, here is an example: on one occasion she berated me at length for stapling the corner of my test papers together in a manner that she disapproved.

Unfortunately, many of our mothers subscribed to the same teaching methods regarding the domestic arts. The result is that several generations of women who detest them and would rather do practically anything than try to knit, sew, cook or crochet and who get nauseous just thinking about it. I spent some years being mad at Mrs. M and her sisters of scorn but I finally realized that they were only doing what they thought was the right thing. They were simply mistaken.

Happily for me, I had grandmothers and a 4H leader with gentler, more encouraging teaching styles and they got to me before Mrs. M. did. So in my case, she gave me a bad couple of years but failed to sour me on needlework.

In the many, many years since, I have taught a great many girls and women sewing, knitting and other needle arts and I have learned a few things about teaching that I think are worth passing on.

The main thing I have learned is that nobody can learn when she is desperately afraid of failing or making a fool of herself. The brain just shuts off as a matter of self preservation. There is enough unfortunate residue of that old punitive teaching style wandering around in the culture that the teacher must actively overcome it.

I have found that most students give something a cursory try and, not being skilled, make an inexpert attempt at which point they are ready to cry "I can't do it...I am not talented...I don't like it!" to which we, as teachers need to reply, "You CAN do it, you have not yet had time to discover your talent and that of course you don't like it YET but you will when you gain some skill--and you will."

We live in a time when advertising has attempted to convince us that if we plunk down our money, we can be instantly successful at whatever is for sale. It is not so, has never been so and cannot be so. People need practice. No valuable skill is ever gained without some messy, imperfect attempts. But it is OK to waste a bit of yarn, fabric and so on in the pursuit of learning. The time you spend is not wasted, it is invested.

I do believe in the value of excellence. But I also know that it cannot be achieved instantly. It works very well to help a student celebrate every improvement. It is fine that she realize the work is not yet perfect but she should also note ways in which it is better than her last try. Small victories get us down the road.

So, if you are a teacher, please be patient with your student but don't allow her to give up in despair. Re-state the instructions gently as many times as necessary. Look at the work from many angles. Help her see the signs of progress as they appear. And if you are a student, also be patient with yourself and don't give up in despair. The truth is that every normal person and quite a lot of people with significant disabilities can become really excellent at needle arts. And if they are presently giving you a literal pain in the neck, realize that as you relax and gain skill, that will go away. A wonderful sense of peaceful relaxation will slowly take the place of the tension. Encourage that. Work in short spells and then rest. And remember, perfect stitches are not a moral issue. Be happy.